These five worst things to say to a pregnant woman are awful! Don’t ever say any of these to someone who is pregnant!
For some reason, people don’t always use common sense when speaking to pregnant women.
I don’t know if people just forget what it’s like to be pregnant, forget that you are still a person, or they haven’t experienced pregnancy, but sometimes people do not think through what they say to you when you are pregnant.
Now that I am on my second pregnancy, I have gotten my fair share of interesting and inconsiderate comments. I know that people don’t do it on purpose, but there are some things you just should not ever say to a pregnant woman.
I talked to a few of my friends and have compiled this handy guide to help people know what not to say to a pregnant woman.
The Worst Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman
Before I go on, the first thing you should know when addressing a pregnant woman is that she is still a woman, and even though she is pregnant, she does not like any references to her weight gain. I think that is totally justifiable, especially since you are already a little more sensitive when pregnant. Nobody likes to get bigger, even if there is a good (cute baby) reason for it. That being said, here are the top 5 worst things to say to a pregnant woman:
“You’re getting so big!”
Yes, dear family members, this one is for you. Yes, every time you see me I am going to be bigger. Babies grow, and since baby is in my tummy, my tummy is going to grow. But it still hurts a little to be told you are getting big (unless you are a little kid).
“You look ready to pop!”
When you say this to a pregnant woman, it implies that she is almost done with pregnancy (or maybe that she is a balloon).
But oftentimes, she still has several weeks or even months to go. And then when she is almost done with pregnancy, it just reminds her that no, she has not delivered her baby yet and yes, she is miserably uncomfortable. Especially after the due date.
“Are you having twins?”
Again, this implies that the pregnant woman is huge. And since the likelihood of having twins is only 3.3%, it’s probably best to just assume there is one baby in there.
Also, don’t ever follow this up with “are you sure?” Never ever, folks.
“You are a lot bigger this time around.”
This deals with second or more pregnancies. Saying this makes the pregnant woman think that you think she looked better with her first pregnancy (even if that’s not what you mean, a pregnant woman’s mind works differently).
Yes, she might be bigger with her second or third pregnancy, but don’t point that out. It’s not very nice.
“How long do you think it will take you to lose the weight?”
When you are pregnant you do not want to think about having to lose the baby weight. Especially if you gain 50 pounds (yes, I did).
Even if she’s at the gym walking or is generally a very fit, thin person, don’t say it.
Yes, a pregnant woman can be more sensitive than she needs to be and she can look further into comments than she needs to, but she is growing another human being so she can think whatever she wants and be as sensitive as she likes.
Pregnancy is rough, so let’s just say nice things to pregnant women! Don’t remind them how big they are or how long they have to go until the baby is born. Trust me, they are well aware.
I also wanted to recognize a few honorable mentions:
- “You don’t look very big. Are you eating enough?” Yes, like a pig. Thanks for the concern.
- “Can I touch your belly?” Especially coming from strangers. Pregnant ladies still need personal space.
- “Your belly looks like an alien.”
- After baby is born: “She only weighed how much? You looked way bigger than that!”
- “When are you calvin’ out?” I especially feel for my friend whose father-in-law keeps asking her this. Not a cow.
Bottom line: if you aren’t sure what to say, ask yourself if a woman who wasn’t pregnant would take offense. If she wouldn’t, it’s okay.
Special thanks again to my friends who contributed to this list of the worst things to say to a pregnant woman!
naptimecreationsemily says
ha! Oh so funny! I haven't really heard #5 before… this was a fun read though!!
Chelsea says
The worst, right? And my friend said someone told her that while she was at the gym. Some people just have no idea!
Katie P says
Oh God, the twins comment! My sis-in-law was a MAIN offender on that one. The. Worst. Yes, I gained a ton with my first. But with my daughter, I gained 20 lbs less and carried MUCH smaller, and she STILL said (every time I saw her), "Are you sure it's not twins????" Yes biatch, I am sure. I am also particularly sure that your belly was WAY huger with your babies, but I never said anything.
Chelsea says
Hahaha that is awful! Next time she is pregnant you will just have to use all of these phrases on her to get her back. And with my first I gained 50 pounds, and I feel like I was definitely bigger at 23 weeks than I am now (just with the extra weight). But of course nobody is going to point out that you look great and smaller than with your first!
Jen says
I was told "You finally look pregnant." I've struggled with hyperemesis the whole pregnancy and didn't show until almost 8 mths. Then my tummy popped out.
Chelsea says
Oh I'm so sorry! That is rough. I was more sick this time than I was with Little J, but it still only lasted the first three and a half months. No fun!
Vicky says
oh I got all these plus some when expecting my youngest (now 8) my eldest was already 17 and his girlfriend insisted on patting my tummy every-time I saw her, it drove me crazy so I brought a t-shirt with a big DON"T TOUCH across it and wore every time she came around. Took her a while to get the hint, not to bright some of these young ladies.
I also got told I was a bit old to be having another, I was 36! And I had no hope of losing that extra weight at my age. some people are just rude and some just simply don't think.
Victoria Osborn says
So true! I remember being asked if I was going to have twins.. by someone who should have known better! 🙂
Chelsea says
Haha that's awful! I mean I am glad she felt comfortable around you, but that's a little too comfortable! You are definitely not too old to be having more kids at 36! I am sure we'll be having more in ten years!
Chelsea says
Oh no, I'm sorry! It's even worse when it's someone who should know better!
Jessica says
I have gotten all of these! It's so annoying! First they said "are you sure you're growing a baby in there, doesn't look like you're getting very big" and then "dang, when are you going to pop? Looks like you have a watermelon in there!" Ugh!!!! Loved this Chelsea! 🙂
Annie says
Yes yes yes. I've heard (to me and other pregnant ladies), "still pregnant, eh?" / "Well, you're going to have a miserable summer" / "…once the swelling in your face goes down I could see how you two are related"
That last one was said to my sister and I BY A NURSE at my sister's prenatal appointment.
Chelsea says
That's annoying to get both that you are small and big! Thanks!
Chelsea says
Oh my gosh! That's awful! Nurses should definitely know better!
Pamela says
"You look ready to pop" and "you're getting big" are always so fun to hear..especially in those final weeks when you're THE MOST PISSED OFF. -_-
bahaha.
this was spot on 🙂