Preparing for the transition to two kids can be intimidating and stressful and frightening, but once it actually happens, you look back on all the time you spent worrying and realize that your second baby is just as incredible as your first.
Like any parent, I was excited when we found out we were expecting our second baby. But I was also worried about having two kids, especially ones only 18-months-apart.
Our second baby wasn’t quite as planned as our first, and I struggled more with accepting that my pregnancy was real and actually happening than the first time around.
As the months progressed and my belly grew larger, I worried about the impact a baby sister was going to have on my son. I spent all my time with him, and I was worried that when she was born, I wouldn’t be able to give him enough time and attention. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to have enough 1-on-1 time with him.
I also worried that I wouldn’t be able to take care of my daughter like I had my son. Taking care of a newborn is exhausting, but taking care of a toddler at the same time sounded daunting. And I wanted to be able to give her the attention I gave my son, even though in my head I knew it wasn’t going to be possible to sit there and hold her all the time when I also had to feed and play with my son.
I worried how my son was going to handle having a baby in the house. I had heard horror stories of older siblings acting out against their baby brothers or sisters, or even trying to get them sent back to the hospital. I worried that he would be jealous or regress and want to sleep in a crib or use a pacifier again when he saw his sister doing it.
I worried that I wasn’t going to love my baby girl as much as I loved my son. I was worried I was going to have a favorite child or that my daughter was going to be a lot more difficult than my son and that I wouldn’t connect with her as well as I did with him.
I also worried that the transition to having two was going to be harder than I thought and that I was going to become a sleep-deprived, grumpy, negative monster that my family wouldn’t want to be around.
But when we checked into the hospital knowing that we would finally meet our daughter that day, knowing that our lives were about to change forever, all of those worries seemed insignificant. I suddenly had the courage and faith that everything was going to work out. And when I held my daughter for the first time, I knew she was supposed to be in our little family.
And when our 18-month-old son came into the room and got to hold his baby sister for the first time, my heart melted. He said hi to his sister and just sat there with her in his lap, staring at her. He was so gentle and sweet, and I knew I had nothing to worry about.
Yes there were times when he wouldn’t want her to touch him or he would try and play with her toys, but for the most part, he would bring her blankets and pacifiers and anything else he could find that he thought she might like. Having two kids is a million times better than having just one, because you get two tiny versions of yourself, two little bodies to squeeze, four little hands to hold, and twice the love in your life.
Preparing for the transition to two kids can be intimidating and stressful and frightening, but once it actually happens, you look back on all the time you spent worrying and realize that your second baby is just as incredible as your first. And you wonder how you lived without them.
Meg says
I just discovered your blog, and I love it! I had a lot of similar thoughts before my second baby was born. Thanks for sharing.
Chelsea Johnson says
Thanks, Meg!! I’m glad I’m not alone!!
Katie Clark says
Love this. Two kids are really twice the joy. It is difficult at times (like right now, I’m hating that I can’t be with both my boys while they are sick), but so worth it. I know I was so scared to become a mom of two, and now, I can’t imagine not having them both!
Chelsea Johnson says
Right? When my son was in the emergency room it was so hard being away from my daughter. I can only imagine how hard things are for you right now! I hope things get better soon!
Krystal says
I’m debating on having a second child, my daughter just turned 2, and all the feelings you spoke of is exactly what has been going through my mind. I’m in tears after reading this. Thank you for posting!
Chelsea Johnson says
You’re welcome! It’s so worth it! And it’s so fun having them close in age because they become little best friends!
Rachel says
I cried at the end haha, I just found out just the other day that I’m pregnant and my son right now is nine months old, which would make them 18 months apart as well. I’m still shocked, because it wasn’t really planned.
Chelsea Johnson says
Congratulations! Now that my kids are almost 4 and 2 1/2, I love having them so close. They are best friends and they play together so well. It’s definitely not easy, but it really is great. Even when it’s a bit of an accident 🙂
Sunet van staden says
Hi :), thank you sooooo much for your blog, this have just lifted mountains from my shoulders as I just found out im pregnant with my second as my son is only 9 months old, trying to rap my head around this and this really gave me peace of mind thanks
Chelsea Johnson says
You’re welcome!! And congratulations! It can definitely be a bit of a shock to find out you’re having two so close, but it is so much fun. Mine are 4 and almost 3 now, and they do EVERYTHING together!
Samantha Simonsen says
I don’t know when this was written but I just found out I’m pregnant with baby number 2 my son has been my whole world and I’m was also having fears that u described untill I read what u posted thank you my son still sleeps in a crib next to my bed he is only 13 months old how do I fit sleeping arrangements I don’t want him to feel pushed out yet I don’t want new baby disrupting his precious sleep .
Chelsea Johnson says
Congrats! You’re probably going to want to start transitioning him out of your room now before your baby is born. We had planned on having our daughter sleep in a pack n’ play in our room and keep our son in his crib in his room. He actually climbed out of his crib two weeks before our daughter was born so our plan changed, but that was what we were originally going to do! Good luck!
Ellen says
This is way after the fact, but thank you for this!
…wait, your son climbed out of his crib at 18 months!?! Mine is 17 months now and we’re expecting #2. Hoping the same thing you were. We’ll see!!
Chelsea Johnson says
You’re welcome! And congrats on #2! My third son turned 2 last month and still doesn’t climb out of his crib, so maybe you’ll get lucky!
Samawiyah Abdulbasir says
Wow! if i didn’t know any better I’d say you read my “mommy worry journal”. It’s like I was talking to myself, no one understands my fears. My daughter is 14 months now and will be 19 months when our second daughter is born. This blogged provided me with relief and that I’m not alone. Talking to my husband and his best advice is “you got this”, I really needed a moms point of view with having two kids so close together. I’m ready for this growing family to be complete. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR INSIGHT!
Chelsea Johnson says
YOU BET! Seriously, it’s scary and there are so many what-ifs. But asking those what-ifs isn’t going to help! Just have faith and know that everything will be okay! Good luck!!!
Hailey says
Thank you for writing this article, it was so reassuring! I always say that the decision to get pregnant was so much easier the first time, and you did a great job at highlighting all of the wonderful things for what’s to come. Much appreciated <3
Chelsea Johnson says
You’re welcome!!! I’m glad I could help!!
Liz says
Thank you for this. We found out this week we are expecting our 2nd child and although we planned and it took a few months to become pregnant, the second we had 2 pink lines the worries started. Feeling much better now.
Chelsea Johnson says
Congrats! It can be a little overwhelming even if you’ve planned it out! Good luck!!
Mattie says
I needed this so badly. Thank you for this! This has given me a lot of hope for my up coming 2nd baby!
Chelsea Johnson says
I’m so glad I could help! Congratulations and good luck!!!